I miss you in the margins.

My birthday hurt.

The holidays will be hard.

Mother’s Day will bring me to my knees.

But, more than those times, I will miss you in the margins. Those little places in life that shouldn’t matter, but they do.

When I’m walking to the parking lot and I don’t have to slow down to make sure you’re ok–that you are behind me and making progress. Knowing that if I stop to wait you will also stop and glare at me until I go again. No special treatment for you. No acknowledgment that your steps are slowing. That I might not have you forever.

When I’m shopping and wishing I had just lost you in the aisles like so many times before. Desperately hoping to find you around the next corner enraptured with an olive bar or a new kind of cheese. Or talking to some stranger about Le Mis.

When I’m in Hobby Lobby and I want to call and tell you the thing I just saw is perfect.  Perfect to make us smile.  Perfect to make Amy smile.  Just perfect.

When I see someone wearing an outfit and I want to turn around and raise an eyebrow and then watch your eyes search the crowd until you find the outfit too. I want you to mouth, “Who wears that?” I want to shrug and grin and pull you away before you embarrass us.

I want to hear your phone ring and I want you to answer. I want to take a few minutes to talk about you and then I  want you to let me whine.  Just for a minute or two.

” Things are moving too fast.”

” My feet hurt.”

“I know I’m supposed to like her, but I don’t.”

All the little things you only tell your Mom.  I realize more and more how much of me you absorbed.

All my pieces that don’t please.  That aren’t charming. You took those and sent them back to me smoothed out.

I was always likable when you were in the room.

I really, really miss that.

6 thoughts on “I miss you in the margins.

      1. Indeed they do! It’s in the moment, the now, the shadows and the light places we live our lives and have impact. Unfortunately, people like you are hard to find, those who live intentionally. Thanks for being you!

        Liked by 1 person

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